Did you start the day with that new neuroscience-proven revitalising routine where you super-charge your meditation & optimise your intention setting?
Have you bio-hacked your breakfast yet? Started on the NEO KETO yet?
Have you exercised for at least 30 minutes and made that new collagen adaptogenic protein smoothie you saw on Instagram that looks like ice-cream but actually reverses the signs of ageing?!
How spiritual are you really - I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being 'Gandhi' and 0 being, 'still eating animal products'...?
Yeah...There are a lot of ways to feel like you are just not doing enough for yourself in the world of wellness - and although there are some incredible, new discoveries that are proving meditation, mindfulness and even poetry as being fundamentally beneficial to the quality of your life - it sometimes seems like you're trying to jump on a train that's speeding faster than you will ever be able to run.
It's that feeling of constantly trying to catch up with your potential...
I spent a lot of my life chasing things I thought would help me with my depression, panic attacks, anxiety & a high level of emotional sensitivity.
I have suffered from wavering mental health for many reasons including genetic make-up, environmental and cultural influences, and when I felt at my lowest point around 12 years ago, I was right in the middle of trying to catch that train. At the time, I was reading all the self-help books you can name, following all the latest fitness programmes my body could handle, eating a vegan-based diet, lighting sage like a bonfire every morning, setting daily alarms for mindfulness practice and I was in my third year of travelling around the world 'finding myself'...I mean, how could I not be happy?
Well, simply put;
because I had forgotten myself and I was trying to find something I had never actually lost...
Perhaps you know the feeling of chasing, achieving and then being unfulfilled when you finally got what you wanted. Or perhaps you know what it's like to keep searching and never actually find that one missing piece to your life that would make you deeply happy?
We tend to keep on, keeping on right? Never actually stopping to remember that we have everything we could ever want within us.
Do you know the saying that every physical thing we want in life is actually an emotional state of being?
So, if you really want more money, it's because it will give you a sense of ease, comfort & freedom. Or you really want to meet that certain kind of person (friend or partner), it's because it will give you that sense of acceptance & love. We can even desire that certain body because it will make us feel confident & empowered.
The physical thing = the emotional state of being, but we tend to focus on the external object because we believe that, and only that will make us feel how we want to feel...But what if we could embody those states without following millions of other people's advice - without losing ourselves in the chase - without losing what makes us unique - without our joy feeling only temporary?
There are many wholesome ways to feel confident & empowered, loved & accepted - and when it's created within, it cannot be taken away.
What would it feel like to not have to fit into someone else's template for a good life? What would it be like to stop striving for something you're not sure you even want? What if you learned to heal yourself by remembering yourself?
But, how do you remember yourself?
The way I connected back to myself was, in fact, an entire disconnection from what I knew.
I moved to Sri Lanka and for a few years, I had very little contact with social media and the outside world. I studied Buddhism and threw myself into experiential lessons rather than reading about how I should live from others. Most importantly, I got back into a form of self-healing that I have held dearly since a child - but lost it in the many years I spent in pursuit; and this was my poetry.
Although I no longer live in any form of tropical paradise and am now based in the Nordics, I have found the same principles apply in remembering yourself wherever you live and however far away from yourself you have wandered. And when you start to remember you, you start to feel good about who you are, you start to step away from the crowds, you start to live your own life, you start to live a deeply connected kind of life where everything suddenly becomes expansive & possible.
No matcha chai, beetroot latte is ever going to give you that...unfortunately.
::: Here are some practical ways to remember yourself :::
1. Disconnect for a while.
If you can switch your mobile & laptop off for a weekend, this is a great start. It will feel uncomfortable and dissembling but this is how you welcome yourself back into presence. Read feel-good books, learn the subtle art of doing absolutely nothing - without any residue of guilt - and let go of the need to refuel yourself through media.
2. Filter what you watch and read so that it only provides soul-nourishment.
Those big sale deals, those consumerist commercials - anything trying to sell you an idea of 'perfection' needs to be either unsubscribed from or deleted before reading. What you believe in is how you end up living your life, so if you think you need that gift to be happy, you will be unhappy if you don't get it. Practice letting go of all the beliefs that cause you to stress, anxiety & a feeling of not having 'enough-ness'. UPLIFT TV is a great place for inspirational watching, reading and soul-restoration when you are looking for entertainment.
3. Try writing your own poetry.
Poetry is incredibly introspective and simplifies feelings in a way that you are able to find your voice to your feelings. Sometimes we can't express ourselves in our sufferings - and it lands up manifesting as caught up energy within us - work it out through the power of words. Start just writing how you feel, then break it down into shorter words, keeping only the most potent emotions. Try ending the poem with an intention, a positive affirmation as a way out of this suffering. It doesn't have to rhyme, it doesn't have to make sense - just write it down and throw it away or burn it will all that extra sage you'll have lying around after.
4. Stop trying to be spiritual and be conscious instead.
It is too easy to feel disconnected from yourself when you are being told that spiritual awakenings are achieved by a DO-ing practice. Awakenings only ever happen from being deeply still within yourself and you can bring this BE-ingness into your every day by simply becoming more conscious to how you feel - how you think - what triggers you - what makes you feel good - what makes you feel alive - what hurts you - why you doing this draining activity and not something else... Just start with a few and you will learn so much about yourself and what platform you are working from.
5. Get back into something you loved as a child.
How did you connect with yourself as a child? What things were you really good at and made you feel good about yourself? There are fundamental pieces that still remain in you from the days of childhood. These were ways of coping, of being innocently true to yourself, of making yourself feel good and whole. They have not left you. They just need a little light and attention. Leaning back into yourself, instead of trying to fill yourself is an incredible way of living.
Since my own life forked and I chose to take that hand-made, wild-flowered path into the unknown, I've been more creative, more empowered and more connected to the facets of my inner being than ever before. I cannot tell you how liberating it is to step off that road where you listen to everyone but yourself, so I hope you are inspired to rebel a little with me too.
Please feel free to share this with those who might benefit from a little soul-care!
May you journey onwards in kindness towards yourself, Sez
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